Exodus 18:18 “You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”
The day has been rough… In all honesty, the last few weeks have been fairly difficult…
Terrible 3’s!
For most parents, nothing more needs to be said, but for me, my heart aches to fix whatever it is that is bringing me to tears over my son…
The times when you question what you have done wrong? Where you made a wrong turn? Are we ever going to get back on track?
Michael is independent! Stubborn! He is just like me!
He knows the buttons; he applies just the right pressure to push me beyond my limits, to a place that I feel out of control… A place that I am uncomfortable in… I am a mom of love, of hope, of learning, or patience… but today, I became someone new… Someone I am not happy to have been!
The cards were stacked against me…
Ratio of kids: mom was 3:1
I was highly outnumbered….
The list of things to do grossly outweighed the time that I had, and my head was reeling with endless demands of drinks, snacks, diaper changes, sibling rivalry, dishes, laundry, pee on walls, pee on floors, and dog walks.. Puzzles thrown across the table, markers on the floor, drinks spilling, and dryer washer buzzing…. The time was gone..
As I went to get Lily from her nap, I realized just how bad my day had gotten… As I walk into her room I see a beautiful smile and an angelic baby holding wads of wallpaper from where she had torn pieces from our home… A large 4 foot radius circle ripped into shreds and tossed about her room.. She was so excited for me to see her work… She knew no better, but I sure did… I knew it was going to be a pretty penny to fix, I knew I shouldn’t have tucked her bed next to the wall, I knew…. She smiled and waved, holding up the small pieces that were tucked in between her fingers…
I can just picture her doing it… She loves new sounds…. I bet she enjoyed every minute of the noise… She was probably overjoyed with the sound of tearing paper!
I, on the other hand, was overflowing… not with joy but instead bitterness…
“REALLY GOD! As if my day could handle another ‘thing’!”
I could feel the tears well up in my head as I begin to cry…
My patience had reached its breaking point….
Ecclesiastes 1:9 “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”
This day will pass, this season of terrible 3’s will fade, and the age of wallpaper ripping and innocent graffiti will soon be gone…
Everyone tells me that one season rolls into another and that sooner than I can believe I will be relishing in the memories of my little ones…
I smile as I think of the giggles that I will have…. For future Kim will be far more patient and tolerable of button pushing…
I laugh off the day….
Good night…
Prayerfully, a better morning!
2 comments:
Kim, I love reading your blog... I feel similar to this often throughout my day. I admire you, and the mom you are to your three kids. I know motherhood is not always glamorous, but your rewards will be in heaven! Your mom and dad are probably beaming with joy and pride!
I really needed to read this tonight...I am sitting here crying because my week with my difficult three year old has felt like too much....too too much! Thank you Kim for reminding me where my heart is and what my motivation is.
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